


Panic Is My Lover, Albeit Not A Good One

by sirleonisimmortal7



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, One Shot, Panic Attacks, Past Child Abuse, Protective Zuko (Avatar), Short One Shot, Sort Of, Tea, but she learns?, katara is a bit of an ass, protective chit sang, reference to zuko's crew, zuko feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:27:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28023162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sirleonisimmortal7/pseuds/sirleonisimmortal7
Summary: Short Oneshot - After Zuko returns from the Boiling Rock, he can't help but be nervous around Chief Hakoda. Fathers have never been safe. His father is the reason why he can't see out of his left eye after all. An incident with a still bitter Katara shows the rest of the Gaang how just not okay Zuko is.
Relationships: Chit Sang & Zuko, The Gaang & Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 16
Kudos: 358
Collections: avatar tingz





	Panic Is My Lover, Albeit Not A Good One

**Author's Note:**

> Potential Trigger Warnings: Mentioned/Implied Child Abuse, Panic Attacks, and consequences of both. Please feel free to let me know if you would like any other warnings added.

The hard days always seemed to last the longest. On those days Zuko could barely breathe, his throat closing tight and his lips sealed. When he and Uncle were still on the Wani, he would spend those days hidden away in his cabin, back pressed against the cool metal wall and his legs drawn up until he could remember where he was. Remember that he was safe. Or as safe as he could be anyway. His father could and would torment him no matter where he went or how far he ran. The Firelord’s shadow loomed remorseless and suffocating. 

Hard days came more often than Zuko would like, another sign of his weakness. He hadn’t had one since before he joined the Avatar. Until now. His uncle would usually make them both tea and Zuko would stare into the cup and watch the liquid cool. Maybe Zuko had been too focused on the rush of events that had happened since. Now that they had returned with the former prisoners from the Boiling Rock, there was a lull in the mad dash they had been in. A lull that was very much unappreciated by the resident firebender. 

Zuko tried to focus on the task in front of him. He stood with his tray and started to make his rounds around the campfire. He knelt beside each person as he skillfully balanced the tray one handed and passed them a cup of tea. He kept his eyes downcast, eyes watching the shadow of the fire flicker and dance. He listened to the chatter around him without really hearing it. He tensed when he reached Chief Hakoda but nevertheless served him tea with a shaky hand before standing. His eyes refused to reach those of the bigger man, despite the fact that Zuko had felt his eyes on him this entire time. He wished the chief wouldn’t stare, wished the chief would ignore Zuko like everyone else in this camp seemed to.

Zuko retreated to the edge of the group and slowly sat with his back against a pillar. He closed his eyes and tried to focus his breathing. He knew he was weak and a poor bender to not be in control of his breathing. A heavy weight settled in his stomach as he felt the flames rise slightly with his hitched breath. It was shameful for him to not even have that level of control. He opened his eyes and watched his carefree companions talk, oblivious to his momentary loss of control. Chit Sang sat across the room from Zuko but he could still see the warmth in the older man that confused Zuko. So he instead let the campfire draw his attention. He took breathed slowly as he was mesmerized by the oranges and reds jumping around the wood like a delicate dance. 

He felt more than saw something suddenly rush toward the left side of his head. Zuko pushed himself up and heard a terrified cry. He belated realized that he was in fact the source of said scream. Azula always did say he was a baby. Zuko’s scar stung and his hand touched the blood slowly dripping from a cut on his face. His _face_. He paled and his breath caught firmly in his throat, panic enveloping every sense. For a split second he examined his surroundings closely to ensure that they weren’t being attacked. That everyone was safe. He found a group of surprised faces staring back at him and then he finally noticed the ice imbedded in the pillar where he was sitting. Oh. His shoulders crumpled around his bony frame in relief. Punishment he could handle. He knew he deserved to be punished by Katara and his other companions after chasing them across the world. It wasn’t new to him. 

“Katara!” Chief Hakoda sharply reprimanded. The larger man still carried himself as a commander of men despite his recent imprisonment and his tone reflected it. 

Katara frowned and quickly defended herself, “It was an accident.”

“How could you do that, Katara?” Sokka piped up with a frown. Sokka moved from his seat to check on Zuko. 

Zuko, meanwhile, stood frozen and confused. Why would they be mad at Katara? She was right to punish him. But- no. The chief was now standing and moving toward Katara and Zuko couldn’t breathe again and all he could think was that Katara was so much smaller. So much smaller. Sure, she was a master waterbender but fathers were _different_ and he knew that. Before he knew what he was doing, he had already placed himself between Katara and the chief and Zuko was terrified. His heart beating fast enough to burst. He kept Chief Hakoda’s hands in clear view as he forced himself to speak quickly, “Please no. It’s okay. Don’t hurt her.” 

Chief Hakoda raised a hand and Zuko couldn’t help but flinch for a blow that never came. Zuko felt sick. His stomach was twisting itself into knots at his stupidity. He rushed to clarify as he noticed the chief’s frozen state, “It was my fault really- I just couldn’t see it. If I had I wouldn’t have minded.” Zuko gestured to his burned eye to prove his point since the chief looked confused. “I don’t deserve anything else after what I’ve done.,” he continued. Zuko tried to be as earnest as possible, hoping to soothe the apparent anger from the larger man.

“Zuko, what do you mean?” Aang stepped a little closer as he spoke. Aang, the poor kid, looked so confused. As Aang was a pacifist, Zuko doubted it had even occurred to Aang that sometimes lessons need to be learned physically. Zuko hated himself for hunting this sweet child. Hated that he had planned to hand over a child to the Fire Lord.

Everyone else in their merry group looked concerned now. Even Katara placed a now gentle hand on Zuko’s shoulder. Chit Sang strode over to Zuko and placed himself solidly in between Zuko and the chief. Chit Sang spoke softly, “Come now, my Prince.”

Zuko let himself take Chit Sang’s hand and be guided into a different part of the air temple. Chit Sang was familiar. He reminded Zuko of Lieutenant Jee and by Agni did Zuko hope that Jee was still alive. That he and the rest of the crew had somehow survived the massacre at the North Pole. Chit Sang kept his touch feather light. Secure but not overwhelming.

“Prince Zuko, please sit,” Chit Sang gestured to the wall of the new room there were in. He knelt beside Zuko.

“Just Zuko please.” Zuko doubted anyone other than Chit Sang still considered Zuko a prince.

They sat there for Agni knows how long before Chit Sang spoke again. “I was the commander of the 41st. My men and I found out what you did for us shortly before our last deployment. It was what kept us going. You will always be my prince and our true Firelord. Thank you.”

Zuko shook his head as tears began to fill his eyes, “I’m sorry I couldn’t save you. I’m sorry that I couldn’t do anything.” 

“My Prince, I will protect you. You will come to no harm.” Chit Sang soothed his broken prince as he slowly cleaned and bandaged the shallow cut on his face. It was no substitute for the healing that Katara could do, but it would have to do for now. Infections were to be avoided at all costs. All soldiers knew this. A severe infection would get you sent in front of the firing squad rather than waste sorely needed medicine on anyone other than a high ranking officer. Zuko didn’t know if it would be the same with the Avatar, but would rather not risk it nonetheless.

Zuko sat with Chit Sang until he could feel the cool stone below him through his clothes and hear the wildlife that had settled in the undisturbed parts of the temple. He watched the sunset through the big opening that really should have been the fourth wall of the room. Airbenders were so weird. Not that Zuko could really talk much. Zuko looked back at Chit Sang and gave the man a small smile. For once, Zuko felt safe. He would deal with everything else tomorrow.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! This is something that I've kind of been thinking about so I sat down to try my hand at it. Please feel free to leave a comment with any suggestions/things to improve. If I ever find inspiration to add, I might add another chapter or two or maybe rewrite and expand. 
> 
> Happy holidays!
> 
> Edit 12/12/20: I just realized there were a couple formatting (italics) that didn't stay when I posted first this yesterday. Hopefully they are fixed now! :)


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